Threshold

It has happened.

You thought you had some control

of your life

and that you were in a place

you understood

in a time that moved

from a past you knew

to a future that followed

in a more or less straight line.

But here you are at the edge

of a shore, the shallow waves

washing over your feet

taking the sand you stand on

away and suddenly you wonder

if all the ground beneath you

is disappearing.

You have stepped through the threshold.

The door closed and locked behind you.

You are on the other side.

You try to forget it, distract yourself,

but nothing works.

You check your messages.

The doctor’s office left a number

on your phone.

Is it a blood test result,

survival rate for treatment,

or days left to live?

Now you are alone.

After the panic subsides you stand there

looking around.

Everything is fresh,

colors are vivid,

you can smell scents,

even subtle ones,

and your hearing is sharp.

You feel the breeze on your skin

and the tickle of hairs moving

across your brow.

You are pierced through

with the inexplicable joy

at having nothing.

The sand forms around your foot

and the water wipes out all traces of your path.

Everywhere you turn there is something new

and the space around you

holds you gently

as it spills out and becomes

a part of the expanding world.

So many things are remarkable now.

Here is the freedom that always frightened you.

You have forgotten your name

and it does not matter.

--Newton Smith