When you fail

When you fail
Don’t be so quick
To dust yourself off
With pep talks
Meant to get you
To rise up triumphantly
And exclaim
I am not giving up!
Don’t be triumphant
Instead
Give up
Yes that’s right
Give up
Not forever
But just for now
Just for a moment, at least
Just
Give
Up
Give it all up
You will be tempted
To comfort yourself
With spiritual concepts
Meant to assure you
This is all for the best
This is all part of a grand plan
To cleanse you
Purify you
Make you triumphant
Glorious
Heroic
No
Don’t do this
Don’t be a hero
But also do not be devoured
By shame by self hatred
This is just the same game played
Backwards
No
Just give up
Just for a moment
Just stay low
Low to the ground
Your false self
Shattered
Breathe the grass
Taste the dew
Inhale the soil
You failed
You broke
Life broke
Kiss the brokenness
And receive
Your true self is hidden
In the spaces in between

--Maya Luna