every night before I go to sleep

I invite all of my beloveds who have 

died to join me around my bed to

sing with me.

when I was younger 

the attendance was sparse 

it was like a barbershop quartet 

of a few deceased loved ones and me 

squeaking out a few

sweet improvised tunes

about the miracles of

this life and afterlife 

in the echo chamber of

my quieting heart 

but the older I get

the more crowded my 

bedroom has gotten 

and the louder the singing 

has become. 

lately some of my beloveds

are even bringing their instruments

to play around my bed. 

it’s not a seance 

it’s a symphony. 

there are so 

many beloveds

showing up to

help me compose 

that I’ve had to ask

them to stand close 

to each other.  

now, at bedtime 

my bedroom has become 

a bustling concert hall. 

some nights we play

the rock and roll of 

gratitude

and some nights we all

hold violins and 

play songs about

the energy of love

that radiates out

of the beating heart

of the universe. 

some nights we play the jazz

of how wonderfully terrifying it 

can be to give our hearts   

to each other. 

some nights we 

sing a capella. 

some nights 

we just hum.

it doesn’t really matter 

what style we play 

because, with every chord

this community of 

beloved ghosts and

I create together, 

the less afraid of death I become.

as it turns out

this adventure we 

are all on together 

is all music

and the beat goes on and on and on

~ john roedel